ROUND 16 and The Number of the Beast...

[sidra]

all right. i couln't get it perfect and i didn't have time to mess with this crap anymore. it said 666 and then all of a sudden it said 662. screw it; close enough.

do we get extra credit for trying extra hard?

[jenn]

JS1

“You are not what I expected.” The man was barley able to pull his gaze away from my breast.

“Yeah, I get that a lot.” I smiled. I am not what most people expect when they get here and get to meet the boss. Hundreds of centuries of lies and deception from above have given mortals such a biased view of my INFERNAL world; some of those views have been my fault, I admit. I had been in such a FRAGILE state right after the break up that I did some evil stuff, but as they say “a woman scorned” right. I have adjusted, but there are still things that I will always be bitter about no matter how much time passes.

“Wow, I just can’t get over how hot you are.” The man was still staring, and it was grating on my nerves at this point.

“Ok I don’t think this is going to work out. Thank you for your time…” he cut me off before I could finish.

“No please I can do this job really I can.” He was adamant.

“Little man you can’t keep your ATTENTION on anything except my breasts how do you expect to serve as my personal assistant?” I knew he had the skills I required, and he would never betray my confidence, but I did not need some mortal fawning about me all the time.

“I apologize my lady.” He cased his eye down.

“I am not royalty, so stop with the, my lady crap. I need your word that you can do this job, I need to know exactly where your loyalties are.”<br>
“What should I call you then?” his eyes met mine and I was taken aback by their blueness somehow not quite as mortal as they should have been.

“Well we could start with Ma’am that works, and there is always my name, I will most always answer to it.”<br>
“Devil? That just seems so horrible for such a lovely creature.” Charming smile to go with those eyes I saw.

“Devil where do your people come up with such lame names? I never have understood that. You may call me Satan, and it is actually pronounced satin you know like the silky material.”

“Wow, this is just unreal.” He shook his head in disbelief.

“Now I am sure you have many questions, and I will try to answer in good time. You probably have this view that God is all things good and I am evil. That is not true, oh I have evil moments, especially in the past I was prone to fits of rage, but after what he did to me how can anyone really blame me?”<br>
“Who did what to you?” he asked.

“Quiet I am getting to it.” Damn mortals never knew when to shut up. “God, we were going to be married and have a happy little peaceful world together looking after the souls of mortals. Oh his father was none to happy with what happened that is why the souls are divided now, you see his father always knew I was a better choice for a wife than that strumpet he started chasing after, but I digress. Now I have meetings in 15 minutes so I will make this short. God and I were engaged, he fell for some blond angel, broke my heart, I went into a deep depression, caused a few bad things to happen on earth, Bob, God’s father, got me all straightened out, and gave me Hell. Now God takes care of the souls that go to Heaven, he has made it into this OPULENT kingdom, where here in hell I run things more like a business, which keeps Bob happy. He really thinks God is a Mutinous child, but his mother dotes on him so Bob gives in. That is the abbreviated version, now it is time to go. Grab the GRAPHITE tablet would you.”<br>
He smiled and nodded, he had gotten the job.

[jenn]

Ok the word peddler thing is way off and never the same. I counted the words and they match word's word count I am using word for mine.

[Chaos]

Um...so, is that official? We can choose which word program/website/whatever that we want to use to count our words? Cuz if that's the case, I am putting my story back to its original version, using Word.

I gotta say, I'm with Sid on this one...I was all for the new points system, but this is getting ridiculous. I just don't understand how Word can say that my story is 674 words and Word Peddler says 666; or likewise, how Word can say Jenn's got 666, but Word Peddler shows her at 652; then we have Paige, who has 666 according to Word Peddler and 678 with Word. I mean, that's a pretty big discrepancy, don't ya think? Oh, and if you go to Word Peddler...don't paste *anything* into their little box...and click the calculate button. It shows "1"! How is that possible, when there's nothing there?

Tricia, please let us know which system you'll be using for scoring, if you decide to change it from your previous decision to use Word Peddler; it's only fair to let us know so that we can make the proper adjustments.

Thanks, and good luck to all!

[Tricia]

God, my word count keeps changing!
And I thought this round would be fun... but it's just torture!

Dammit Sidra... you and your evilness have infected the word peddler!

[glow=red,2,300]USE WORD VERSION of word count[/glow]

We will have to help Wench... or maybe we should let her slide on the count???
She's the only one who doesn't have MS Word

[sidra]

moo-hoo-ha-haaa! my evilness infects everyone it touches, physically, mentally, and cyberly! uh, cyberly? i guess i can make up words if i want.

i think we should cut La Wench a break, even if she is a freak of nature that doesn't have Word. i'm sure if she was normal, and did have Word, that she would have gotten 666. i think maybe Tricia could use Word Peddler for to score for the non- Word havin' folks, and then Word for the Word- havin' folks. sounds good? word.

cool; if that's the case then i'm going to modify- again!- in my original Word word count one because i like it the best.

[The Dark Queen]

The only problem is word peddler.
One minute it says I have 264... then it says I have 273
wtf??

I guess we just can't count on word peddler.
I think we will have to use the honor system.
That means that we will trust Wench to tell us how many words she has then we will beat her because she is probably lying.... okay, she's probably not lying, but I really feel like hitting someone.
I am stuck at either 264 or 273 words and I can't write my way out... arrrggggh!

[HIM]

Wordpeddler consistently says that mine is 666... when I cut my officially posted-in-FP version into it. I ain't'a-gonna change it again. It took 40 minutes and a dozen minor BS revisions and previews to get it to consistently do that before I pushed the submit button. Surprisingly and fortunately the FP preview page and FP actually posted text WERE the same when pasted into WP.

It seems pretty clear that everyone has the ability to exactly hit 666 and the tool used to measure the word count is the one-and-only problem. Maybe we should just go with the honor system and accept that it was 666 in the writer specified tool. Others if needed can always verify it in that specified tool.

[HIM]

After a little bit of testing it would appear that it is wordpeddler that is most flawed. If you place some text in there and do a count; then add an extra space somewhere and count again, it adds a word to the count. If there is a double-space after a period, or two spaces between words, those add to the word count. A pause, as in: space hyphen space, also adds a word to the count. Give it a try; it blows. I could do a little analysis on their code to figure out why it fails in this way but it would be pointless and there are other problems I haven’t yet been able to pin down so exactly.

However; Word isn't perfect either, it chokes on hyphenated pairs of words, if you include the hyphen, they're one word, no hyphen for the same two words yields a count of two. For many of these the grammar checker doesn't have a preference of whether or not to hyphenate so I chose to hyphenate none even when I thought there should be one.

I suppose I could be persuaded to revert my story to the Word 666 version if it was deemed necessary, wadda-ya-think?

[Chaos]

OK, so now that we have THAT settled...

Please don't tell Bill Gates...I am going to take the Beautiful Wench a copy of MS Office 2000 on Monday, which happily, coincides with her birthday. (Don't tell her I told you, though...shhhhh!)

So, off I go to change my story BACK to my original Word-counted version. Because I like it better.

[Tricia]

I will use the word count in MS office 2000

However... I don't care if HIM hyphenates as long as the word count says 666 when I copy paste it.

Of course, I will copy paste a couple of times to make sure that I am getting the right number.

Time is almost up to do any modifications.
I will have to be out this round... I still can't finish my story.

It is 9:15 my time... I will be back at 11:30 to shut 'er down to begin voting.

Remember... we only have til Sunday night to vote... so we can start the next round by monday.

[cynthia]

Well ladies... I'm a virgin to the story writing thing...so....my story has 750 I know I am over and will not win...but dang...I wrote a story...give me a break would ya?

“HELP!! AHHHH!!! HELP!!!”, everyday alarm clock in Brooklyn or at least for Richard’s neighborhood. The blood curdling screams of a woman was an everyday occurrence in the projects. Richard lifelessly crawls out of bed and wipes the sleep out of his eyes and grabs a towel and a washcloth and drags himself to the bathroom. Richard turns on the shower and begins to step in but hears a disturbing crash just outside of his building.

Richard wraps the towel around his naked body and starts for the window. Peering through the blinds, Richard notices a horrid mix of crimson and orange filling the early morning sky. Fire and Brimstone violently falling from the sky. People running and screaming and trampling over one another. Mothers grabbing their children and running in hysterics looking for a safe haven. Quickly behind were thousands upon thousands mutinous ogre’s chasing the citizen of Richard’s neighborhood. The street were an infernal grave.

“RUN, RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN, If I catch you your soul is mine!” “Who is that?” Richard wondered in utter shock. As the creature quickly approached Richard’s building, is that…could it really be??….it has to be…..upon closer inspection, Richard’s thought was confirmed. It was Satan himself in the living flesh. Satan and his army was chasing the citizen of Brooklyn and murdering them. Brutally raping the women and children. Slitting the men’s throats and letting them bleed like a slain deer. Beating the children with graphite sticks. Astounded by what his tender eyes have seen, Richard quickly jumps into his clothes and rushed down to the street.

“RICHARD KISTLER”, yea you “RICHARD”, a thunderous voice calls out above the crowd, “come forward to me.” Richard looks around in desperation. The crowd begins to part and Richard peers forward and sees Satan pointing to his and waving him forward. Reluctantly Richard stumbles slowly towards Satan, doubting each step. “Richard”, Satan says so pleasantly,” you soul is pure.” “I want you soul!” “NOT NO, BUT HELL NO!” Richard ascertains. “No, No, you can’t tell me no!” Satan demands angrily. “I got your family and I will get you!” Richard peers at Satan with a doubtful heart. “Step closer Richard and you will see”, Satan motioned Richard forward.

As Richard rushes forward, he focuses his attention on his two sisters (Mary 16 and Sally 18) bound, beat, raped, mutilated and shackled to a wall. Their slim limp bodies were carved with a 6 pointed star. His mother and father ( Jean and Harry) were lying in a corner with their heads covered with red clothes and hands and feet hog tied. “Told you Richard, your family doesn’t have your will! Your sisters will birth my spawns, then they too will lay as your parents do!” As Richard peered into the other corner, there thousands lined against the wall, beat until their eyes hung out of the sockets, faced disfigured, bodies carved and mutilated just to be shoveled into the fiery pits of hell!

Richards fragile eyes filled with tears and he began to wail, “why my family Satan, why?” “Richard, only pure souls can be the bearer of my spawn.” “You and your family studied the word of God, you know my story.” “I was thrown from Heaven because I tried to over-throw God and coned 1/3 of the angels to come with me.” “I didn’t succeed then, but our souls were pure before we were cast out of Heaven.” Therefore, my spawns must derive from pure souls, this is why your sisters were chosen.” Richard adamantly replied “I love my family, but their choices have influenced mine. There is nothing in THIS world that could make me sell out to you! You can dwell in your eternal infernal world, but I will not be with you or my family!”<br>
Satan violently rushed towards Richard and grabbed him around the throat and began to squeeze violently, “GIVE ME YOUR SOUL!! GIVE ME OUR SOUL!“ Richard began to fall lifeless, but remained true and did not sell out to Satan. With his one remaining breath, Richard muttered a defiant “NO”. Richard heard the sound of the trumpet, a man appeared in a long flowing robe. He gently took Richard by the hand and lead him away. “Come, my child!” Richard looked up and peered. His heart filled with peace, joy and serenity as he saw the spiritually opulent city that so long awaited to see. Jesus said softly, “you are home now, rest my child, rest.”

[RedneckDiva]

Okay, I used Word Perfect to count my words and I hit 666 exactly. I am so out of time that I don't dare play around with the peddler of words so I'm stickin' with WP's count and hope y'all take my word for it.

RD1

She was mumbling to herself, twisting her thumb ring around and round and staring off at some unknown spot on the floor in front of her. She had shut the door to her office and prayed no one would wander in any time soon. Normally her door stayed open so when it was shut her coworkers usually knew it was for a good reason. It would be so typical if some idiot barged in today of all days, she had mused earlier. She sighed heavily and mumbled, her voice becoming quieter and quieter with each unintelligible word. She was perched on the edge of her desk chair and her legs were shaking from holding herself in place, trying not to cause her chair to shift on its wheels. “Dammit”, she said faintly, her eyes moving suddenly from their fixed spot on the carpet. She was about short circuit and she knew it. She was dangerously close to it. Life got to her occasionally, and since she had discovered escaping, she was letting it get to her more and more. Her nerves were raw, her temper short and her emotional status was extremely fragile. But she had discovered the escape and it was far better than the infernal madness she endured daily. She settled back further into her chair, slipping her sweater off her shoulders as she kicked off her shoes as well. Slumping slightly into a more comfortable position she began twisting her ring again, her eyes losing focus, breath slowing and her legs losing tension and spreading far enough apart that it would’ve been enough to give a passerby a glance at what lay buried up beneath her gray wool skirt. She heard the telephone ringing somewhere off in the distance and although she didn’t even bother to break her stare, she managed a mutinous glare at the noise that threatened her concentration. She closed her eyes, yearning for the escape to come. Deep breaths in through her nose and out through her mouth calmed her and she regained her focus and peacefulness once again. “Attention! Mahala Barger please report to Mr. Sheffield’s office at your convenience.” The words blared over the intercom fell on everyone’s ears but her own. She was slipping away finally, drifting off to where the noises didn’t matter and all she cared about was the quiet and the blessed noiselessness of it all. A grin slowly edged onto her lips and if one were to look close enough they would see her tongue tapping quickly against her top front teeth.

Her eyes always had a hard time adjusting to her suddenly opulent surroundings when she first entered the escape and she shielded them with her hands. Her bare toes dug into the cool grass and she shivered at the sensation it delivered to her senses. Slowly she moved her hands away from her face, letting them drop to her sides as she stared in awe. She would never tired of the initial newness of each escape. She sighed heavily again, but this time it was one of contentedness and not of frustration. Tentatively she looked over her shoulder as if checking for someone behind her. No one had ever followed her and as far as she knew no one even knew of her newfound talent of escaping or of the escape itself. This was hers and she wasn’t eager to share such a treasure.

Almost as if she sensed it before it happened, her smile suddenly faded and as the graphite colored paperweight connected with her skull she fell onto the ground, landing hard on her right side. Her eyes were unfocused once more, staring far off at some unknown point. She heard a cold voice cackle then say, “This is my escape, bitch. If you use it, I can’t. Now you won’t be able to anymore.” She tried to move, knowing a fatal blow was coming, but all she could do was slow her breathing once more and escape.

[Tricia]

Sorry, I nodded off!
Long day today.

Okay... let the voting begin... 3 stories... closing late sunday night... not this late though!

Thanks to everybody for putting in such great stories... not me... I suck! For Rizzle!

[RedneckDiva]

In no particular order, my votes are:

AD1
Wench1
HIM

A friend told me last night that my stories are dark. I'm not sure she meant it as a compliment either, lol. It's something in my DNA or something because no matter how happy they might start or how upbeat the idea is, the story ends up dark and foreboding and sometimes downright evil! MUAH HA hahahaahaahahaaa

. . . Or could it be from hanging around y'all? Hmm?