IT'S ROUND TWELVE FOR YOU BLOKES!

[Tricia]

Bunch of party poopers.

I had to do worse than that when I joined the Army... WIMPS!

Ah well... it was worth a try.

[Tricia]

TW1

He stared, mesmerized at the vision before him.

She gave him a sweetly demure smile.

“’Ello love”, he rasped, pushing his stringy gray hair out of his eyes.

“You the asshole who invoked me from a dead sleep”?
Her smile turned to a glare.

“Look ‘ere wench… I summoned you to get me outta this ‘ere dungeon”.

“What did you think? You could mutilate your wife, bury her body in the backyard, then call on me when the whole thing turned into a big kerfuffle”? She gave a snort of disdain at his stupidity.

“You’re a fucking Yank!” He yelled in an accusing voice.
How did I invoke the spirit of a fucking Yank?”<br>
“Look dimwit… you could have invoked the spirit of ‘pissed off housewives’ and got your nasty little ass kicked good. And another thing… stop using the f word… I find it offensive”.

“Well look ‘ere, I wouldn’t have bothered trying this if weren’t for what ‘appened to Nelson.
Theys just about to take him to the gallows when ‘e conjured up a spirit… saw it wif me own two eyes… ‘e conjured up a spirit and the next morning, bright n early they come to tell ‘im ‘e was a free man.
Course, his spirit was a man… and it sure weren’t no fu… uh… Yank”.

“Well… we can’t all be boys, now can we? And being a Brit isn’t a requirement either.
Now move back”.

She began to chant in a high melodic voice.
She seemed to grow larger for a moment… then her billowing red gown settled back around her feet.

“There… by the time the sun comes up tomorrow you will be out of this dungeon”.

She winked at the spirit of his mutilated wife hovering just inches above his head.

The man turned to see what she was winking at and when he turned back the dark spirit of ‘Vengeance’ had departed.

He clapped his hands and did a little dance in the middle of the room.

The spirit of his mutilated wife hovered near the ceiling, watching, with a smile on her face. She was feeling serene in the knowledge that he was about to get his.

“Justice is bittersweet me love”, she whispered, moving in to get a better view of his little jig.

Just then he heard the clank of the jailor’s key hitting the metal lock.

“Come on me lovely… we’re taking you outta this dungeon”.

“You mean I’ll be a free man”?

“Guess you could put it that way… heh heh heh
Apparently the ‘angman has an itchin for your neck that won’t wait til mornin”.

[sidra]

tricia, i usually do that peanut butter thing every day anyway. but there ain't no way i'm putting a live goldfish in my mouth. it's inhumane, and, also, i'm allergic to fish. but, i will do it virtually, just so i appease you.

what peanut butter do i have on hand?... ah, yes, Peter Pan honey roasted. delicious. down go my virutual pants, and out comes the butter knife. now, let me see, where's Randolph the Virtual Goldfish? here he is!

*bloop*

"i lobe da debon queen, i lobe da debon queen..."

[Tricia]

Wow look at Sid go!

She sure does run fast... even with that goldfish tail flapping up and down against her cheek.

Remember Sid... don't swallow the goldfish (that would be inhumane) you have to spit him back into his bowl when you are done!

[ThatWickedWench]

Okay, so while I was in the midst of running around the room donned in peanut butter, mouthful of fish (which btw tickles) I tripped over my dog Zoe, who undoubtedly was chasing me trying to lick the peanut butter off my ass and I forgot to chant because I noticed the floor charging up rather rapidly at my face. Of course, the impact caused me to swallow the damn fish... so um does that still count? I mean I did try.... and it was amusing to see my dogs mouth glued shut since she succeeded in her quest for tasty goodness. Any modesty I had left, is now gone...I sincerely hope this doesn't count as beastiality. Gods! I don't need THAT on my resume.

[RedneckDiva]

Well, it was hard explaining to the husband just why there was peanut butter in the computer chair last night, but I managed. I didn't have a damn golfish, only an angel fish, but I painted him yellow and he was okay with that. He's back in the bowl this morning, although I have caught him scowling at me a few times. The daycare kids now have a new mantra -- "I LUB THE DEBON QUEEN!" I only hope that I can explain that one to their parents when they say it at home....

[jenn]

Chapter 1
JS1
Johanna gazed at the ocean; she loved the sea especially this time of the day. The sun was sinking into the water; creating a pinkish orange hue on her SERENE world. She pulled her wool cloak closer to her body, and shuddered not against the cold as much as the thought that this would be her last night here on the coast. Her family usually did not return to London for another month, but this year she would be introduced to the ton, her coming out as they called it. It sounded rather silly to her, coming out, more like thrown to the wolves she thought. That is exactly what her mother and grandmother had planned for her throwing her into society in hopes of snaring a husband. The men would all vie for a spot on her dance card she was sure of that, her father had left her a grand sum of money, and that KNOWLEDGE INVOKED visions of avaricious men all trying to win her hand in marriage. No, she did not need a husband, nor did she want one, but if her family had their way, she would have one by the end of summer. Johanna glanced up to see Mary coming toward the cliffs and knew she was about to be summoned by her grandmother, the Duchess of Cornwall.

“Milady” Mary said with a slight curtsy, “The Duchess wishes to speak with you.”<br>
“I figured as much.” Johanna knew what her grandmother was going to tell her already, she had heard it all before, but not rushing to her side would only make the old woman angry. Johanna had endured her wrath far too often lately, and did not wish to have the Duchess annoyed with her farther. She walked with Mary back to the house. Mary had been with Johanna since they were children; they had been playmates back then. She was the granddaughter of the head house keeper, who had been with their family even before the Duchess married the Duke.

Mary was a DEMURE creature, not like Johanna who was very outspoken to the point of being bold, not a very endearing trait in a high bred young lady. The girls had always gotten along brilliantly well; they were more like sisters really, and the fact that they looked very similar had been the cause of great rumors all through their 18 years. Mary was Johanna confidante, her best friend, and Johanna always treated her like any other friend, but Mary always reminded her that she was not a noblewoman a fact Johanna preferred to overlook.

“Mary, you remember when we were little and people thought we were sisters?” She inquired.

“Yes.” Mary smiled, it had always been a game they had played when they were little, a game she loved playing.

“Have you ever wondered if the rumors were true? I mean the ones about your mother and my father?”

“Your father was not the kind of man to dally with the help Johanna, and you know it.” Mary had always wished the rumors had been true when she was growing up, but as she had gotten older she realized that being the bastard of a nobleman, would be much worse than being a servant.
“Well maybe he loved your mother so much he could not help it. You know he never loved my mother. Their marriage was arranged long before they were old enough to know what love was, and she is such a horrid old shrew.” Johanna snickered.

“Johanna that is no way to speak about your mother.” Mary tried not to giggle, but both girls knew it was the truth.

“Well she is. Besides your mother has always been more of a mother to me than my own, and father always did have a soft spot in his heart for you. He always allowed you to attend lessons with me, and that sort of thing.”

“He allowed it because he adored you, and he would have done anything to see you happy. You better hurry up, the Duchess will be displeased with you again if you dawdle.” Mary tried to change the subject.


”Oh my grandmother is always displeased with me and we both know it. She would rather I be more like you. She told me that you know ‘Why are you not more like Mary? There is far too much of your father in you young lady’ I do not know what is wrong with being like father he was a good man.” Johanna felt the tears starting to form on her cheeks. She missed her father; she vowed to kill the man who had taken him away from her.

Johanna recalled the day the footman ran into the stable yelling for help. There had been a struggle with a group of bandits in the forest. His words still rang in her ears, “There was quite a KERFUFFLE. Quickly lads I du know ‘ow long he can hold ‘em off on ‘is own.” The girls had been playing in the stable, but the men did not know they were there, and they had no idea the girls followed them. Mary had not wanted to go, but Johanna persisted, if she had known what she was going to see she would have chose to stay behind.

“Hurry Mary we are going to lose them.” A fourteen year old Johanna whispered.

“Jo we should not be doing this, we are going to get in big trouble.” Mary had been scared, but Johanna could always talk her into doing almost anything. Johanna stopped dead in her tracks, and that was the last thing Mary remembered of the day, but Johanna would never forget her father’s MUTILATED body lying in the road. She would never forget the eyes of the man on the big stallion. She had been MESMERIZED by those eyes, the eyes of a killer, and one day she would find him and enact her revenge.

“Are you all right?” She knew Jo had been thinking about that day, Mary had been thinking about it as well.

“Yes” she said stiffly. “I must not keep grandmother waiting.” Johanna ran up the stairs to the house leaving Mary standing alone.

Johanna walked pasted her Grandfather, who was asleep in his chair by the fire, the only person besides Mary she really loved. He had not been the same since her father’s death; none of them had though least of all her. She stood in front of the door to the study, took a deep breath and prepared for another long winded speech form the Duchess.

“Grandmother you wanted to…” her words trailed off as the man sitting with the Duchess stood up.

“Oh yes there she is now. Come in child we have been waiting for you.” Her grandmother beamed at her smiling the whole time. Johanna knew something was up for her to be looking that pleased with herself.

“This is Michael Lofton, the Duke of Brighton and your fiancé dear.” The Duchess stood erect and proud, but eyed Johanna as if to say ‘do no make a scene or you will be sorry’ and she knew her grandmother would make her sorry. She was so stunned by the words she barley noticed the man extending his hand to take hers.

“Excuse me? My what? I do not even know this man how could he possible be my fiancé grandmother and your mistaken if you think I am going to marry some stranger.” She spat at her grandmother and ran from to her bedchamber. Mary was there waiting for her.

“Oh Mary she intends for me to marry some duke I have never even met. Can you believe that? She promised I would be able to choose my own husband, and now she has gone behind my back and intends for me to marry someone against my will. Oh if only father were here he would put a stop to her madness.” Johanna sobbed.

“Oh Jo I am so sorry. When will the gentleman be here to make your acquaintance?” Mary knew that once the Duchess set her mind to something there would be no changing it.

“He was in the study with the old witch.”<br>
“Well what did he look like? Was he nice?”<br>
“Oh Mary I do not know, I ran from the room. I will not marry him and that is that.” She was adamant.

“How do you plan to get out of it Jo, you know that once she has made up her mind there is nothing that will change it. You should go back down and meet him; perhaps he is not so bad. He may make a very good husband. You have to make the best of it Jo, because there is no way to get out of it now.” Mary was always much more level headed than Johanna.

“I will not be forced into a marriage against my will to a man I do not love. Look at what it did to my father. He was miserable married to mother. I do not want to be miserable the rest of my life. I will not…” Johanna never finished her sentence as the door flew opened and in walked the duke of Brighton. He was very tall over 6 feet, and had dark wavy hair and beautiful brown eyes, his muscles bulged beneath his shirt. Mary was taken back by this good looking man storming into the room.

Johanna started to protest his intrusion, she thought of telling him off, telling him to go find another rich woman to fill his coffers with, but she could not find her voice as she gazed into his eyes, those eyes from so many years ago, the eyes of the man who had murdered her father. This was her chance for BITTERSWEET revenge.

[Tricia]

Hey... I brought the crackers.
Give me some of that peanut butter!

What's this I see?
Only five stories?
We can do better than that.

I'm afraid that I might not have given enough time.
At least I hope that's what happened... so we will extend til saturday at dinner time... yeah... my dinner time.

[ThatWickedWench]

You truly are evil Tricia. I've been stressing over my submission since I posted it. I JUST WANT TO VOTE ALFREAKINREADY!!! LOL
Of course, this IS coming from the silly wench who had to be the first to post.

[Andrew]

Wow! I might be in gifted literature.Language arts, but I can't make up stories this good!

[Chaos]

Tricia, where did you go to school, honey? It wasn't Fayette Co. High, by any chance, was it? Cuz by my count, we have SEVEN stories posted!

I guess I can wait until Saturday to start the voting...dammit. I'm with the Wench on this one, though...the kerfuffle word and I are suffering break-up pangs...I'm starting to HATE that stupid, dumb, idiotic word!

[Tricia]

Seven?

I grew up in Ohio where we had math questions like this...

If Johnny went cow tipping for three hours and he tipped 20 cows... how many cows did Johnny tip in 15 minutes... if the cows weighed 500 pounds, and some were white and some were black and Farmer Brown's wife had insomnia?

Now you understand my confusion?

I should have just pretended the stories were cows...
cow math is so much easier than real math!

Okay enough horsing around! heehee

Forum writing time is UP!
Ding Ding!

It's time to rock the vote!

[Chaos]

How silly of me! I should have KNOWN to liken it to cow math, instead of boring old fuzzy math! What was I thinking?

The Wench and I were just wondering when you were gonna eat your dinner already & come begin the voting! We whiled away our time by continuing the story over in Town...the citizens will play when the Mayor's away, you know!

Vote...Vote...Vote...Vote...Vote...Vote...Vote...Vote...Vote

Hey! I got my new voter's registration card yesterday in the mail! Just thought I'd share that, since I have voting on the brain, now....

Oh, and Tricia? How many stories can we vote for this time?

[sidra]

hur... i have ohio edumacation, too.

i totally scrooed up the word "kerfuffle".

i wrote "kerfluffle". i know i wasn't the only one.

[Tricia]

Sid,
scrooed... mooed... pooed
Good Ohio edumacation at work!
Home grrrl!


Okay... we will get to choose two stories.... I'm expecting everyone to write next round, so that we can do our usual three.

In the mean time, a little reminder...
no anonymous votes allowed....
two votes person...
you do not have to write a story to vote (that's for certain people who were doing demolition this weekend.... we like EVERYONE to at least vote!)

So put up or shut up, the counting will end at 11pm EST on Tuesday!

Good Luck Everyone!